Posted by: jessiescrazyland | June 17, 2010


so where to begin…? as i said before i work in a liquor store and crazy ass things happen here, and today was doozy. s0 back story real fast…saturday 2 african american girls came into the store and looked shady the whole time they were here then left without buying anything, at which point i looked up our security video and found that they had stolen a 750ml of hennessy. most of the time when this happens the thief doesnt come back or comes months later….nope not this time.

so today about 6 we see some girls get out of thier car and instantly knew they were the same ones from saturday. so they come in one asks if we have a bathroom (we do but its in the back no ones allowed back there) and then moved off further into the store with her gigantic purse.(obviously shes the decoy) i was watching the girl who stole and she was looking over her shoulder standing in front of the cognac again so i approach. i lower my voice “ma’am i have you on video stealing this bottle from me on saturday so you can pay me for this bottle and leave or ill call the cops.” that does not fly with the ghettoness “aww no i dont owe you nothin you aint got me on no video.” i was staying calm and trying not to provoke but then she started to head for the door so i walked along still saying “excuse me you stole this and you owe me for it”.

so we make it to the front door there is one girl already out the door one beside me and one taller than me (im 6′) behind me. girl next to me body bumps me out of the way so i stumble a little. back up straight she hits me in the face. im pretty sure instinct had me hit her back but just the once trying not to smash the bottle i held over her head. she slapped me again and as i turned away she grabbed the neck of my shirt and pulled leaving a long red mark. apparently she also said “ill cut yo face bitch!!” i didnt hear this as i was in the moment of “holy shit im going to get jumped by 3 large black girls”, but my coworker heard and pressed the handy panic button alerting the cops to our predicament. they calmly walk to their car as if nothing happened (that just screams crazy to me).

so yeah that was my fun night at work now if we ever catch them i get to go to court. this is not the first time ive had to file assault charges on a thief. hopefully its the last…from now on they can have it im resigning as head thief catcher.


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